Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize