that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
