Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize