Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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