the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
