Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
