Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
