Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
