I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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