i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
