Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
