Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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