Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
