I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
