I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
