Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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