...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize