we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
