What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
