he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
