ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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