New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
