that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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