i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
