If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
