Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
