My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
