whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
