i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
