I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
