By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We left the knife in your bed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
