I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
