You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
