I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
