What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
