so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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