but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
