i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
