well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
