i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
