he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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