Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize