i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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