Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
