i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
