I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
