yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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