He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
