Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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