Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
