Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
