so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize