Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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