ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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