were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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